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Date Posted: 22/4/2002
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Author: P.M. Greaves
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Microsoft bosses have today reacted in disbelief as the US Government have blamed the pale bug-eyed geeks for causing 98% of the world's problems.
They face prosecution for creating every porn site in existance by pioneering software such as Frontpage, Internet Explorer and the Windows series. Micro$oft have been also condemned for allowing image-editing software to function on their operating system on which the naughty pics were created. A high-court judge today said, "If Microsoft hadn't bothered looking beyond DOS none of this would have ever happened! As for Warez... what kind of sick minds would create a piece of software which allows their own software to be duplicated?"
Microsoft's one get out clause from the allegations by admitting they stole the original Windows from Xerox makes them face being prosecuted for that one too. They also tried shifting the blame to Apache for providing the sleaze servers in the first place but were quickly shot down.
"This isn't funny one little bit". Said the multi-billionaire Bill Gates as he fled with a plane-ticket in his hand from the Microsoft HQ.
It is not known yet whether the XBox 'looking funny' is illegal or will be avoided when court proceedings begin. More scandal sure to follow.
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