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Date Posted: 15/1/2002
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Author: P.M. Greaves
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In what seems like a sympathy statement to the World, American President George W. Bush stated that his Parents never explained about the inconsumability of household cushions.
"With my father being a very passionate Politician and later President of the United States, he never had time to sit me down and explain about the facts of life... like cushions being inedible" Continued the President.
Whilst watching a professional football game on television, Mister Bush spotted what he belived was candy floss spilling from a White House cushion. He fell from his couch and has a scrape and large bruise on his left cheekbone, plus a bruise on his lower lip, to show for his troubles in the mayhem that ensued attempting to get to the cushion. After composing himself, he approached the split fabric and took a handful of the nylon filling into his mouth. Mr Bush cannot recollect any events until awoken in Hospital.
Dr. Richard Tubb, an Air Force physician, conducted the follow-up exam on the president. "Dr. Tubb checked all the vital signs and he told me all are fully presidential," Said White House press secretary Ari Fleischer.
Another doctor later explained the President's decrease in heart rate caused the fainting. Unsure, CMNN asked for a second opinion and a Doctor with Key Skills level 3 explained the President's decrease in heart rate caused the fainting. Wary of our findings we consulted "The Big Book of British Medical Conditions" and deduced that the fainting was almost certainly caused by, "decrease in heart rate" but cannot be certain the content matches the American Edition.
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