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Date Posted: 1/8/2002
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Author: P.M. Greaves
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The new system will be unveiled for the 2005 season, where all 22 cars line up in a seperate lane divided by white lines. The cars blast to the end of the lane as fast as they can, turn around and come back again. They repeat this until full race distance milage is complete.
"It's absolutely no different to the principal of Olympic Swimming or Snail Racing - and when was the last time we saw fatalities in either of those?!" Exclaimed the ageing money-grabber.
Also considered were Athletics style-staggered starts and driving around in circles for hours (already adopted by our American counterparts) and special relay races where drivers passed a baton between each other but the likelihood of two cars being close together was frighteningly high.
Hefty penalties would be awarded for crossing the famous 'white line', notably a public whipping for repeat offenders as 10 seconds of the driver's time has been deemed uneffective and not particularly painful to the arse.
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