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It has emerged tonight that every single celebrity in Britain is a paedophile.
They raided the BBC and found odd footage of grown men in purple, orange, yellow and green fat-suits bouncing around in front of kiddies. Even some disturbing footage from the early 1990's was discovered depicting what can only be described as children boarding a 'playbus' full of adults.
The BBC refused to comment upon seizure of the tapes apart from throwing a brick at us through an open top-floor window.
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