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Date Posted: 21/1/2003
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Author: P.M. Greaves
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Tony Blair gave us all the fantastic news today that al-Qaeda will most probably want to blast Britain into oblivion because of our 'Alliance' with the US and its war on terrorism (or terrorising the terrorists as we like to refer to it).
The fact that all of Britain's citizens want to stay as distanced as possible from America and it's global destruction schemes surely means that Mr Blair has single-handedly endangered every single one of us when he could have really stood at a distance and watched the US get on with it.
As a top journalist I've compiled an alternative statement that Mr Blair should have made:
"I'm so very very sorry. I only liked Mr Bush because he said I could come round and play whenever I wanted as he has a better lawn than I do and a spaceship and everything! His mummy didn't like my mummy so we're not allowed to talk anymore and therefore our alliance with America is over".
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