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Date Posted: 17/6/2004
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Author: P.M. Greaves
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Finally, the future of the Interweb in briefs:
- Look out for the next wave of Frontpage products from Microsoft that see people with no talent be able to throw together a montage of pointless animated gifs in seconds for their homepage. What sets this apart is the huge gif-art database and metatags that actually tell your browser if the site is worth looking at in the first place. If the browser detects you were trying to access a website made with new Frontpage, your computer suspends for an entire week.
- eMail Spam will be combatted with a totally new idea from the United States where controlled fires will be started until the entire World Wide Web has burned down. It will then be re-built with all past Spam having disappeared into the flames.
- There are terrifying reports ahead suggesting that dancing kittens and pointless flash movies are being found funny; and if too many people synchronise their laughing, global Earth tremors could cause damage to all kinds of stuff that's on the Earth I suppose. Many ISPs are already putting sandbags in place for precaution.
That's the technology for the upcoming years ahead. Tell everybody and watch them gawk at you like imbeciles as they hang off your every word - like you're some kind of techno-prophet or something.
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